Only in the darkness can you see the light.

I honestly don’t know where or how to start this blog post. Everyday is a struggle, constantly wanting something you no longer have. I feel so guilty anytime I even say this or talk about my miscarriage. I know so many people can carry for so much longer and miscarriage so why should I feel so down when I was only 5 weeks.

But in those 5 weeks I loved you a lot. I made plans for you. I was so excited to see you grow, to watch the bond you would have with your sisters. Ridiculous right!

But it’s not ridiculous I am allowed to grieve. I may never get to hold you or see who you were meant to be, but you were mine and always will be.

Only in the darkness can you see the stars and that’s exactly what you are my little star. I still think about you constantly but I just need to remember it wasn’t meant to be and that’s what I struggle with the most.